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some good quotes

January 17, 2011 by the-door   Comments (0)

SAVE THE EARTH It's Our Only Source of Chocolate Latte" is Italian for "You paid too much for that coffee"

Should I be expected to stay sober all morning?

I haven't had my coffee yet - don't make me kill you

Try Organic Food...or as our grandparents called it, "Food"

I'M SUCH A LOUSY COOK, I CAN'T EVEN BOIL TOAST!

WINE! HOW CLASSY PEOPLE GET SHITFACED

UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN ESPRESSO AND A FREE KITTEN

TEA Crack for Vegans

WORLD PEACE, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, and FANCY DARK CHOCOLATE, in that order

RED MEAT ISN'T BAD FOR YOU. FUZZY,GREEN MEAT IS BAD FOR YOU

I AM ONLY AS STRONG AS THE MARTINIS I DRINK & THE HAIRSPRAY I USE

BECAUSE CHOCOLATE DOESN'T LEAVE A WET SPOT

DRINK COFFEE - do stupid things faster with more energy.The glass can be half empty...or half full...as long as there's Scotch in it.

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap, and easy.

Beer isn't Everything SEX MUST ALSO BE INVOLVED

MEAT IS MURDER! TASTY, TASTY MURDER.

FUDGE A great palate cleanser after her date with Brad.

I Always Take Life with a Grain of Salt, plus a Slice of Lime and a Shot of Tequila<

You, me...and a gallon of chocolate syrup. Wait. Forget about you!

I could learn to cook - but why risk chipping a nail?

BACON! Heart Attacks Never Tasted So Good!

EATING MY WEIGHT WITH CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM HELPS ME COPE

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

The Ozone Layer or Cheese in a Spray Can? Don't Make Me Choose!

PLEASE IGNORE THE URINE SMELL

When it was that time of the month, Nancy could bit your head off and eat a Twinkie at the same time.

Mumsy's drunk, darling. Make your own damn "PasghettiOs."

I GAVE UP PIMPING FOR THIS?

Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.

TEQUILA! BECAUSE BEER ISN'T FAST ENOUGH!

MAY I POUR YOU A FRESH, HOT CUP OF SHUT THE FUCK UP?

He proposed to her because she was just like her cakes - rich and moist.

MADGE'S POT BROWNIES WERE A HIT AT THE CHURCH SOCIAL

iris loved springtime, when she could open the windows and air out the smell of Frank's beer farts.

EAT A SQUARE MEAL A DAY - A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

IN A PERFECT WORLD ALL MEN WOULD BE PASTRY CHEFS

COFFEE! because crack isn't allowed in the workplace!

I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables

Easy there, Mr. Testosterone - You can be replaced by a zucchini.

Hot Dogs! BECAUSE REAL MEAT IS OVER-RATED

I WAS ON A DIET FOR A MONTH AND LOST 30 DAYS

STEP AWAY FROM THE FRIDGE, LARDASS.

Explain to me again why I shouln't eat my young.<

No Pulse Yet...More Coffee, Please.

BEER! NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE

IF IT FITS IN A TOASTER, I CAN COOK IT

It's not nagging when i have the butcher knife, dear.

I cook with wine. Sometimes i even add it to the food.

A COUPLE MORE ESPRESSOS AND I CAN FLY!

BEER WILL CHANGE THE WORLD I don't know how, but it will

Vegetarian by Day. Maneater by Night

TOFU! Looks like wallpaper paste but tastes much worse!

Every day i give my family two choices for dinner: Take it or Leave it!

Man Cannot Live By Chocolate Alone - But Woman Sure Can!

Her children grew up thinking that all food tasted better burnt

YOU SAY TOMATO I SAY FUCK YOU

I'll have a Cafe-Mocha-Vodka-Valium-Latte to go, please.

Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.

Sarcasm: Now Served All Day